in olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked at as something shocking

tonight over a hazelnut cappucino (out the windows flies my plan for coffee purgation, it seems) i wore my heart on my sleeve a little for the first time in awhile. i have done this too many times in my life for it to bring surprising sensations anymore, but it did bring something promising, i think, and maybe eventually even bold and new.

i also christened my new thick black tights today beneath a pair of pants, as edinburgh decided to remember that it was really winter for these last two days of january (the supposedly worst weather month of the year here, though i've seen no evidence). i watched strangely last night as the most dense freezing fog forced me into pinhole-view of my surroundings, only later this morning to slowly accumulate as whiteness on the ground, as if it had snowed - but it hadn't. i love that this erratic environment is always forcing me to give it my attention, demanding me to observe its nature.

it's amazing how quickly my free time fills up. i really miss reading novels right now - i am only reading plays for my literature class - and would kill for an opportunity to crack one open, something small even like amsterdam by ian mcewan (indulging the anglophilia) - but i think there isn't time enough for the devotion i know i could/should give, it would be such passive reading. the coming of february intimidates, for as the short month i can imagine how it will so soon be going. life is starting to feel more pressing here, and i am becoming more attuned to the fact that i will eventually have to leave it behind.

my classes this week have almost magically tied in all together - the political economy of karl marx then the arts & crafts movement/art nouveau of architecture in all of their socialism then oscar wilde and the aesthetic. i am watching the world enacting throughout time a thomas mann quotation (one i earlier pirated for a subject heading): "If you are possessed by an idea, you find it expressed everywhere. You even smell it." haphazard as it was, this was good planning on my academic part.

these past few days i have been finding an appreciation for the love song as a secular institution, mainly inspired by my attention, finally, to the songwriting enterprise of 69 love songs by the magnetic fields - which i find to be quite a success. i suppose you realize what things are warming in the middle of winter, and i'm glad that people write these little ditties, silly and dismissable as they can be, about what our language really offers too few words for expressing. also, around this time last year i did a lovesong radio show in honor of valentine's day, and really i just miss that whole djing bit a lot. i hope i can do it when i go back.

it's about 2:30am now, and i should sleep for my usual 6 hours. hope everyone is well and ready to brace the weekday hump. happy black history month.

<3