faith in whimsy (or the whimsy of faith)

i've realized in the past few days that i really like watching the sky change and lose its light as the twilight hour approaches out of my little dormer window with its pretty charming view of flats and a spired church in the cowgate valley. i think it has stopped and started raining today about 10 times. but happily it stays light until about 5:30 now, with 11-hour days gaining 4 1/2 minutes daily. this has really been an easy winter - i'm sorry for you east coasters who just had armloads of snow dumped on you; i can barely conceive of snow anymore.

today john is arriving here to stay for several days, and tomorrow the two of us are headed to glasgow for a day of exploring and an evening of broken social scene, which will be a totally exciting time. i watched a documentary yesterday about one of my favorite bands called wilco, and until the chord struck by the visualization of and information about them i had forgotten what it feels like to be so in love with music and with a band, and so i am eager for this band's live experience in glasgow. john tells me it is a life-affirming one - he approaches his fan-dom of broken social scene with a bit of religiosity.
i have actually been thinking a little bit more about music lately, due in large part to the song "tenderly" by duke ellington & his orchestra. this song in particular makes me seriously miss the constant role music used to have in my life - there is no substitute for playing in an orchestra or a jazz band with other people who also love playing. i would be ecstatic if surrounded by a live performance of "tenderly." i am considering with a good deal of seriousness taking up flute again when i get back home, and taking lessons at uva. it is such a shame that i used to be quite talented and on the cusp of making something remarkable (on some minute scale) out of that, and that now when i try to play my mouth hurts too much after five minutes and i give up, depressed. i would like for "musician" to be a word i can think of with which to describe myself, even if there is no momentum and only constancy in it.

i promised something more whimsical than talks of schoolwork, stress and finance, and so i am here to deliver. yesterday i spent the day in my pijamas doing some reading and writing, and after my eventual shower and dressing upon night's arrival, i headed over to a nearby pub called the three sisters for a post-valentine's party being hosted by the international student centre called "halipula." this is finnish for something close to "in need of hugs" - i was mostly attending because my friends were to be working the event or there as well, but many people were attending because they in fact were looking for others to resolve their hug needs. the event consisted of a free cocktail, pink in color, and chocolates to accompany what they called in political correctness 'speed-socializing,' followed by free entry into a nearby club called faith. for those of you unfamiliar with speed-dating, you are given a number and are seated accordingly at a group of tables for two in a row, (set up like so), then spend five minutes talking to the person sitting across from you before you switch and move on the next table. if you hit it off in those five minutes, you can exchange information before you switch chairs. so basically this is like the creepiest thing you've ever heard of, right? or just silly and absurd, mostly. i was feeling snobbish and didn't want to participate, but decided to because i thought it could be amusing and at least i would be paired up with my friends sometimes to break up the experiences with actual unknown speed-socializers. turns out i never even got to any of my friends, and i actually had to for real try to talk to these people in five minutes. i had an even mix of guys and girls, most of whom spoke very poor english, and it was exhausting. sort of intense, actually - you really have to sit face-to-face with the person and try to make constant conversation (however samey) and hear their responses above all the din. it was a little useful - i learned that andres, the chilean fellow who shares my weekly volunteering slot at the isc and is a friend of mine, is very into wagnerian opera - who would've thought? a few guys actually gave me wounded looks when i didn't ask for their information at the signal of the end of the session...what's a girl to do, seriously?

thankfully that ended. shortly thereafter, a south korean guy who is universally thought to be strange and astoundingly and persistantly awkward socially gave me a box of turkish delights. i sort of thanked him confusedly (we have exchanged about three words, always the same ones, you know, "hi" and stuff - i don't think he knows my name, just that i have a pretty face) and then gave them away as soon as he had left. a group of friends ventured half a block down the road to a club called faith that i had never been to before. clubs in general here tend to be always at least somewhat creepy, just in the kinds of things people find natural to do in those environments, but this one was full of what seems only to be those people. i hadn't been out dancing in quite a while - since the mediterranean party, in fact - so i decided to embrace the cheesy music and have fun anyway, or try. it was a very silly place, that played exactly the horrible 80s music you would imagine in a place called faith, but we cringed and laughed and kept on and on.

and then i walked a block to return home, went to sleep and awoke this morning to go participate in another very heated discussion on marx. and i suppose this is just how students live here, really pretty much all the time. i almost want to laugh at the lifestyle in incredulity, but it seems natural somehow to go along.
of course, after john leaves i will be completely stressed out, with many major and weighty assignments drawing ever nearer, the first of which being a class presentation on nietzsche's "the anti-christ." you will hear from me soon enough and i will hopefully have reports of provocations of cosmic proportions from seeing this esteemed musical group and good life-sized ones as well from catching up with john. after that, however, i can only promise me and my little head.

hope everyone is well. february is far too short.